Truths About Life That Goes Against Societal Norm

Not every woman wants to be a mother.
Why are people shocked when a woman says she doesn’t want to be a mother? Not every woman wants to have a child or raise one and that’s OK. A woman who admits to not wanting children receive the dirtiest confused looks I’ve ever seen. It’s usually followed up with the question “why” or “you’ll change your mind.”

In reality, so what? There are women who, thankfully, understand they don’t have motherly instincts or don’t want the responsibility of raising a child. Can you imagine if this same woman had a child with these feelings? The child would possibly be a burden and unloved. There are several women who shouldn’t have had children who end up murdering their kids, abandoning, neglecting them, etc. If a woman wants to live her life without children, that’s OK.

It’s OK to not have a marriage, a child, and own a home by 30.
If you don’t have these, you’re behind… according to society. Realistically, you graduate from high school at 17 or 18, go to college for four years, find a well paying job fresh out of college, get married, buy a home, and have a child within a 12-13 years range. Seriously? Some people can do it if you have the resources, but not everyone. A person is discovering who they are between this time and society wants them to compress this much into their life. Did you know who you were in your 20s? Probably not as you were just entering your adult years.

Being happily single.
This may be hard to believe, but there are a lot of people who are single by CHOICE. If a person believes they are better off single, leave them alone and don’t force them into relationships. This person is aware of who they are and what they don’t want. Being happily single, especially if you’re a woman, seems to equate to, “What’s wrong with you?” As if being single means you have major flaws resulting in nobody wanting you. If you’re happily single, it means one or more of the following:

  1. You don’t feel like being bothered.
  2. You enjoy your space.
  3. You enjoy your mental sanity.
  4. You aren’t lonely because you enjoy your own company.
  5. You understand a relationship takes work and you don’t feel like putting in the effort to maintain one at the moment.
  6. You aren’t settling.
  7. You’re happy with yourself as you are.
  8. You’re focusing on improving yourself.

Being happily single isn’t a bad thing. When it comes to getting into a relationship, this quote says it best,

Your presence has to be better than my solitude.

Funky Dineva

Being single.
There’s a difference between being happily single and being single. Some people aren’t single by choice. They can’t find the right one, tired of dating, and/or simply exhausted. They want (some “need” which is another issue) to be in a relationship. Being single is OK! A person doesn’t have to be coupled 24/7. Use the single time to recalibrate your mind and body. The world isn’t going to end if you don’t find a partner in 30 days. Life will go on. In the meantime, utilize this time to dump your baggage from the previous relationship, inhale the freedom, and stabilize yourself before you enter the next relationship.

Money doesn’t buy happiness.
Some people say money isn’t everything. Yes, it is. You need money to buy things. You need money to pay bills. Money can get you access to things you’ve never imagined. Those who say money isn’t important either don’t have any or have more than they want you to believe to live comfortably and disconnected from the reality of others. It’s correct to say money doesn’t buy happiness, but money can provide a peace of mind. If one has seven figures in their bank account and they say they’d give it all up to be happy, no, they need to get rid of the toxic people in their life. Money isn’t the root to all evil. People are. Money doesn’t shout, “Here I am!” People shout, “Here’s my money!” Money doesn’t spend itself. Money isn’t going to buy you happiness if you’re incapable of being financially responsible or if you had mental insecurities before the money existed.

People won’t bother you if they believe you have nothing to offer or nothing to take. So, if you ever come into money, act like you’re broke.

Shalanjo

Going to college on a student loan is a bad idea.
Stop telling people, “Just take out a student loan.” Nobody wants debt. There are people who feel ashamed for not going to college and others look down on those who don’t have degrees. Students go through high school being told the next step is college, so by default, they go. Many people go to college and get degrees they don’t use. I know someone who has a PhD, but the job she does has nothing to do with her degree and nor does her pay. I understand a career change, but the amount of money, she’s still paying, that went into obtaining such a high degree to not use it baffles me. It’s OK to not accept student loans. Look into scholarships, pell grants, programs that can help pay for college, or go to a trade school. There are ways to get a higher education without paying the debt for the rest of your life. If you graduate with a debt-free degree, if you don’t use it, you didn’t waste your money. Maybe your time, but you aren’t in debt.

You don’t have to choose a side.
We live in a society that takes everything to the extreme. If you have a different opinion, you’re wrong. If you have a different life experience, you’re wrong. Geez! Can we stop with the one-way fits all thinking. We aren’t made to have a hive mind. It’s OK to have a difference in opinion AND it’s OK to listen to a different perspective. I can’t think of the word, but there’s a term used for people who can see both sides of an argument. People tend to use this word towards individuals as if it’s a bad thing. Honestly, we need more people who can look at both sides, come to a conclusion, or admit both sides are crazy. There are several people in the world trying to maneuver through life without having to choose one side or the other when neither is appealing. If you use critical thinking and logic, we need more of you. It’s OK if you don’t choose one side or the other. It’s OK if you do choose one side, but change with time. It’s OK to point out the flaws of both sides. It’s OK to admit you don’t know everything, therefor, you can’t form an opinion on it without further research. It’s OK to not be part of the collective.

People reveal what they want you to see.
People aren’t lying to you. They’re just withholding vital information. The majority of us have friends who post lovely photos on social media. They’re smiling, showing how in love they are, great friendships, but in reality, they aren’t happy, unemployed, crying almost each night, no sleep, arguing with their lover each day, and they see that friend once every six months. I just described people I know. People have said this before, but I’ll say it again. Do not compare yourself to your friends or influencers on social media. People show you what they want you to see. I’m quite sure you know at least one person who post happiness on social media, but you know they’re struggling to the core.

2 thoughts on “Truths About Life That Goes Against Societal Norm

  1. Great post! Being single is amazing, and ironically enough, it’s the acceptance of being single that made me a much better person to date. Anyway, thanks for this enjoyable share!

    1. Thanks for reading and commenting! Yes, so many people underestimate the value of being single. You can learn and improve so much about yourself during that time.

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